Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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