Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
