now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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