Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
