so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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