Someone shit on the floor
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
