Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize