I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
