I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize