But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
