ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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