Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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