Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
