Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
