Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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