That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
