This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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