Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize