How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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