i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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