Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize