dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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