Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
