Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
