Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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