I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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