Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
