omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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