wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
