my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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