I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
