he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
