After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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