Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
