It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
