you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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