I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
