i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
