WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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