We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?