You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
