don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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