how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
