He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
