I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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