Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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