I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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