Why are handjobs necessary in class?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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