Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
