Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
