the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
