Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
