My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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