i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
