if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
