help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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