I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
