wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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