I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
