Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
