Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
