I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
