Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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